Why ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People’ is still a must-read
If you’re a business owner, chances are you’re juggling a lot—keeping your team motivated, negotiating with partners, meeting customers’ needs, and trying to build meaningful connections in an increasingly digital world. It’s easy to feel like you’re on a treadmill going at double speed. But here’s the thing—no matter how much technology changes the way we do business, one truth remains constant: your success will always depend on how well you connect with and influence others.
This is where a timeless classic like How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie comes in. Though it was first published in 1936, Carnegie’s insights on communication, relationships, and influence remain just as relevant today. If you’re wondering what wisdom an almost 90-year-old book can offer to a modern business owner, here’s the short answer: a lot.
Here are a few lessons from the book, along with examples of how they can be applied today.
1. The power of making people feel valued
Carnegie wrote, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” Sounds simple, right? But think back—when was the last time you gave someone heartfelt praise? And, no, a quick “good job” during a Zoom meeting doesn’t count.
For business owners, showing genuine appreciation is a game-changer. Whether it’s noting an employee’s hard work, thanking a client for their loyalty, or acknowledging a supplier who went the extra mile, expressing gratitude builds goodwill and strengthens relationships.
How to apply this:
- When leading a team meeting, start by highlighting recent wins and successes. It doesn’t just boost morale—it sets the tone for a culture of positivity.
- Send handwritten thank-you notes to clients. It’s a small, personal touch that can set your business apart in a sea of automated emails.
- Publicly acknowledge your employees’ achievements on LinkedIn or during company events. It shows that you see—and value—their contributions.
2. People want to be heard
You’ve probably heard about the power of listening, but Carnegie didn’t just say “hear people out.” He spoke of active listening. He believed people are much more likely to trust and respect you if they feel like their thoughts and opinions truly matter.
For business owners, listening isn’t a passive skill; it’s a business tool. If you’re not paying close attention to your employees, customers, or partners, how can you truly understand their needs?
How to apply this:
- During one-on-one meetings with employees, resist the urge to interrupt with “solutions.” Instead, ask open-ended questions like, “What challenges are you facing right now?” and listen to their answers without distraction.
- Set up feedback mechanisms for customers—surveys, focus groups, or even social media polls. When customers see you’ve implemented their suggestions, it deepens their loyalty.
- If you’re negotiating a deal or partnership, spend more time asking questions than pitching your ideas. People naturally warm up to those who show genuine interest in their perspective.
3. Be sincere, not manipulative
Carnegie’s entire philosophy hinges on authenticity. He warned against flattery for selfish gain, arguing that sincerity was the key to building meaningful, lasting connections. Today, when people can spot insincerity from a mile away, authenticity is more crucial than ever.
Modern consumers—especially digital-savvy ones—expect transparency from businesses. They want to know they’re dealing with real, honest people, not faceless corporations. This principle applies in marketing, sales, team leadership, and every interaction in between.
How to apply this:
- If your business makes a mistake, own up to it. A transparent apology will earn you more respect than trying to sweep it under the rug.
- Be honest about what you can and can’t deliver to customers. Overpromising and under-delivering may win a sale today, but it’s bad for long-term trust.
- If you’re building a brand online, share personal stories about your business’s values, mission, or challenges to show there’s a human side to your company.
4. The golden rule of relationships
Carnegie believed in treating everyone—whether it’s a business rival, an unhappy employee, or a difficult client—with respect and kindness. His advice? “Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.” Empathy, Carnegie argued, is the secret weapon of every truly influential person.
For business owners, this means looking beyond the transactional and genuinely trying to understand who you’re dealing with—whether it’s a customer, supplier, or team member.
How to apply this:
- Create win-win scenarios in negotiations. Instead of insisting on what works best for you, explore solutions that benefit everyone involved.
- If a customer is upset, put yourself in their shoes. You might be tempted to argue, but often, a simple acknowledgment of their frustration will diffuse tension faster than any well-crafted explanation.
- When managing your team, ask for input and involve them in decisions that affect their work. Employees who feel seen and heard are much more engaged and productive.
Why Carnegie’s advice is timeless
You might be thinking, “Isn’t this stuff common sense?” And you’re right—on the surface, Carnegie’s lessons aren’t ground-breaking revelations. But here’s the kicker—common sense isn’t always common practice. Think about how much we rush through the day, half-listening, multi-tasking, or sending a quick thumbs-up emoji instead of offering a real thank you. Carnegie’s advice reminds us to slow down and focus on what matters most—human connection.
The truth is, being a great business owner isn’t just about mastering numbers or creating the latest product. It’s about mastering relationships. And while technology has made running a business more complex, Carnegie’s principles are simple, timeless, and—when practiced intentionally—immeasurably powerful.
The next time you pick up How to Win Friends and Influence People, don’t just read it. Practice it. Your business (and your relationships) will thank you for it.